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A Safe Space for Honest Conversation

A Safe Space for Honest Conversation
 
What do you think I need to know?
Where are you struggling?
What are you proud of?
 
There is no pressure to have a perfect answer. The only requirement is to be honest and sincere. Of course, it helps that we are all thoughtful, authentic, and caring team member — qualities needed to create the psychological safety such a conversation requires.
In your own meetings, talk about permission up front — it’s best to address this directly rather than assume it’s already here. What permission would you like from the group so that you can lead effectively? What permission does the group need from you to successfully participate?
 
As a leader, ask your team permission to:
keep the conversation on track when it diverges or gets repetitive
call on people who have not yet spoken
hold people back if they are dominating the conversation
ask clarifying questions when you need someone to elaborate
 
Empower your team by reminding them that they have permission to:
ask questions at any time
invite colleagues into the conversation if they have not spoken
ask to spend extra time on a topic
ask other people to say more about where they stand on an issue
express concerns that haven’t been fully addressed
 
Finally, encourage your team (and yourself) to ask permission before making a comment. This will help ensure that your comments are non-threatening and received thoughtfully. Before speaking out, say:
May I ask you something?
May I tell you something?
May I give you some coaching?
May I push back a bit on what you are saying?
 
If that feels like too much to remember, the main takeaway is: You and your team have a right to ask for whatever you need to be effective in a meeting — to lead for results, to fully express yourselves, and to add value to the discussion.
Now, let’s focus on safety. The degree to which a person feels safe in a meeting setting is largely based on their previous experiences. Many of us have — at one point or another — experienced feeling as if we were not heard or appreciated when we spoke up. But when people feel their comments will be listened to and treated with respect, they are more likely to be vulnerable and say exactly what they are thinking. Conversations become broader and deeper when everyone is involved and feels safe enough to speak their minds.
 
To create psychological safety during a meeting:
ask the group to devote their full attention to each person who speaks (do this at the start of the meeting)
allow each person to take their time and complete their thoughts
ask follow-up questions for clarity if necessary
share what is valuable about someone’s question or comment
use people’s names and refer back to earlier comments they’ve made
invite people into the conversation who have not spoken
answer any and all questions truthfully
summarize what you learned as the meeting comes to an end
explain what actions you will take to put those insights to use and ask your team for their suggestions as well
acknowledge the quality of the conversation and thank the group for it
 
After the meeting, follow up by:
completing the action items by the deadlines you set
not sharing the conversation with others without permission
sending written thank you notes to participants (when appropriate)
following up with people to ensure their comments were addressed to their satisfaction
 
People don’t just want to belong, they want to contribute. You can give your team the opportunity to do so by applying the above principles. In the process of having more candid, mutually respectful conversations, your team will become more cohesive and able to work together more powerfully. They may even begin to look forward to your meetings because of the remarkable conversations that permission and safety create. And better still, you may even start to look forward to leading those meetings.