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Never blow off the ones you'll need

27 Aug 2004 | The Globe and Mail pg. C.1. | James Gray,

Achievers don't help others to succeed, they succeed because they help others

Self-interest has always ruled the corporate world.

In the last half-decade, though, it's reached astonishing new levels. Escalating competition within and outside the workplace, coupled with a detonation of technology that's seared us with information, has produced an explosion of 'me-ism.' Many, overwhelmed by and stressed about how to process the avalanche of telephone calls, e-mails and other overtures they receive as a matter of course, have actually reduced their communication. They've taken to responding only to situations where their advantage can be assured, embracing a belief system that places self-interest at the heart of decision-making.

As a result, promises to follow up with those who aren't critical to their success are shunted aside. Messages that won't result in an immediate and measurable payoff are not returned. Calls from sales reps? Forget about them.

We've all blown people off. After all, it often seems that there are simply too many who want too much from us -- our business, our expertise, our contacts -- offering negligible value in return.

However, if we choose to interact only with those who can benefit us here and now, we're limiting ourselves, and possibly our careers.

While it might be natural in these overwrought times to want to cocoon in our office digs and converse only with big-time clients and good-time suppliers, it's not the way to go.

We need to reach out. We need to connect. We need to engage.

Consider this scenario. One of your bright young friends at work isn't getting along with his boss, the notoriously intransigent senior vice-president of marketing, who, incomprehensibly, has the ear and confidence of the company president. Your colleague gets fired, quite unfairly.

You're concerned, naturally. You call him at home the day after his dismissal. You commiserate. You promise to call to set up a lunch.

But you don't call. You don't lunch. You get exceptionally busy and, in your heart of hearts, you're really thinking it might be awkward to hook up with a depressive job seeker. So you conveniently ignore his voicemail -- actually, two voicemails -- asking to get together.

Three months pass. You hear through the grapevine that your colleague has landed an amazing position, in fact, a job you had applied for. You didn't get called for an interview. He did, clearly.

And now the marketing VP has you in his sights. You could swear he had a slight smile on his face the day he let you go.

After a suitable period of despair, you begin calling your contacts in the business. Guess who's near the top of your list? That's right - your old friend, now happily ensconced in a funky downtown office, with a dedicated assistant and original art.

You leave a message, and he calls right back. He boosts your spirits -- not a word is mentioned about your neglect of him -- and makes an appointment to meet with you over coffee the following week. He shows up, equipped with some promising leads.

Your colleague understands that now, more than ever, business and career success are based on the quality of our relationships. The irony is that in this, the age of hyper-information, when we're assaulted with data and pitches, our connection with those we know and trust has taken on more importance, not less.

It's a long life and a small world. Today's fired co-worker is tomorrow's high-flier and in a position to help you -- perhaps even employ you. The young public relations co-ordinator becomes director of public affairs. The sales rep you ignored is about to switch jobs and become a prospective client.

I have a friend who's done extremely well in financial services. In his early 50s, he doesn't have to work but does, diligently, holding down several formidable positions.

What continues to be most inspiring about him, though, is his willingness, his delight even, to help others.

A job seeker will leave a message and my friend will return the call, almost certainly within the week. He might even meet with the caller. If he's impressed and hears about a suitable employment opportunity, he'll let the person know. He may even facilitate an introduction to a contact in the same field. If not, he'll offer advice about upgrading key skills.

This achiever doesn't help others because he's successful; he's successful because he helps others. The legions of supporters he's made along the way, coupled with his intellect and drive, have fuelled his remarkable run.

Did a few take advantage of him? Absolutely. Does he care? Not that it shows or affects his long-embraced ideology.

He understands, in a time when so much communication goes unanswered and unacknowledged, the remarkable power of connection. He knows, for example, that sales reps appreciate and deserve the courtesy of a returned call, even if it's to relate there's no current interest in their offering. My friend always closes the loop. It's what separates him, a giver, from the multitude of takers.

Like him, you can commit to responding conscientiously to communication by following three simple rules:

Schedule your time: You could easily spend the majority of your working day answering unsolicited calls and e-mails. To avoid being overwhelmed, build 15- to 30-minute segments into your weekly calendar to return messages, even if it's to leave a string of "No, thank you" responses.

Scheduling protects your time. When callers happen to get through and you're unable or unwilling to speak, simply book a follow-up for when you are next available.

Prioritize your calls: Some messages, and messengers, are more important than others. One well-connected executive has two levels of response, promptly returning calls she considers significant and having her assistant follow up with other callers to book meetings days and, occasionally, weeks ahead. Everyone receives a response.

Ask how you can help: Give, and receive. I recently met with an accomplished partner in a professional services firm who has developed an extensive, deeply loyal network of colleagues, associates and clients over the years.

I soon learned why. At the end of our meeting, she said: "What can I do for you?" I thought for a few seconds, and then told her. With her question, asked sincerely, she instantly created another supporter -- me.

So ask the question. Return the call. Make the connection.

James Gray is a media strategist and communication skills coach in Toronto.