Nerdy jokes
A TCP packet walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer." The bartender replies, "You want a beer?" The TCP packet replies, "Yes, I'd like a beer."
A UDP packet walks into a bar, the bartender says "Hello, what can I get you". The UDP packet doesnt acknowledge.
A Broadcast packet walks into a bar, screams to the bartender, "HEY MAC! I WANT A BEER!" Everyone else in the bar hears him but chooses to ignore him.
An ARP packet walks into a bar and introduces himself.
A RARP packet walks into the bar and knows your name, but needs to know your address.
An ICMP packet walks into a bar and orders 10 shots of whiskey, "and make it fast!" The bartender asks him what he rush is. The packet says, "I'm afraid I don't have much Time to Live."
An SQL query walks up to two tables and asks, "May I join you?"
To get to the other side. Why did the tachyon cross the road?
Freud believed that only one thing came between fear and sex. He called it fünf.
What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing, you can't cross a vector with a scalar.
A wave function walks into a bar and promptly collapses. He screams at the bartender, "What the hell are you looking at!?"
Its not easy being a self made man. Unless you have an Oedipus Complex and a time machine.
A ringwraith walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What's a nazgul like you doing in a place like this?"
In a certain Native American tribe, the braves took great pride in two things: the large game they hunted, and how large their wives were. Three braves were arguing amongst themselves as to which one was better, so they decided to have a contest. The three of them went out hunting. The first brave killed a buck. Then the second killed an elk, and finally the third killed a hippo. They still couldn't decide between the three of them who got the biggest kill, and decided to go to the village elder for advice. He arranged for them to bring their wives and the animal skins from their recent hunt, and put them on a balance to see which in fact was largest, and therefore best. Upon performing this test, it turned out that the squaw on the hippopotamus was equal to the sum of the squaws on the other two hides.